It’s Valenhog Day once again. It falls between Groundhog and Valentines Days, or whenever I remember it, and replaces them both in the interest of saving time, money, and shifting to the Metric Holiday System (or MHS). This is also the first anniversary of the very first Valenhog day.
Here is the official Valenhog Day Poem, first published last year. Feel free to add your own, or make a Valenhog Day card for your friends, loved ones and special rodents.
You are my little Valenhog
your fleece is brown like dirt
but when we both go out to brunch
it makes my wallet hurt
I’d love to give you candy
and all kinds of sweety things
but if your ass gets any bigger
you will trash my Chevy’s springs
It’s not that I don’t love you
nothing’s further from the truth
it’s just that you no longer
fit through a tollway booth
We’ve been through a lot my dear
(not the booth mentioned above)
if I haven’t made you into bacon yet
you know that it’s true love
Happy Valenhog Day!
Tags: bare ass, chubby, fat, groundhog day, high heels, nighty, shopping, valenhog day, valentine