Fengtastic!

Photo courtesy of Plan59.

I was already hammered when I saw you at the Crow Bar.
I said my name is Jack and asked if you’d like a screwdriver.
You said you weren’t loose, and you bolted,
but I still wanted to nail you.

The vice squad was outside and asked if you were a hoe.
You said I’d tried to jump you and wanted them to arrest me for battery.
I asked “wire you doing this?” and told them you were nuts.
You said you wouldn’t file charges.

They said they’d give us a lift as long as we were on the level.
On the way you complimented my chiseled jaw.
I swore I’d never punch you.
You said that’s awl you ever wanted.
I said if you don’t screw me I’ll always be true.

I thought you’d make a fine Mrs. Sanders …

then you asked if I’d met Ric.

(Photo courtesy of Modern Mechanix.)

“What car?”

From commenter Oz Sputnik:

“I would say this is a 1972 de Tomaso Pantera…the Mary Kay version. I’m guessin’ the blonde is Patti Olafsen, who sold more cosmetics than any other of the top three Mary Kay sales reps combined that year, by using a brilliant strategy of blending lap dances with makeup demonstrations to venture capitalists and startup tech firms in a then, fledgling Silcon Valley. Her sales paralleled the beginning tech boom and Mary Kay awarded Patti the Pantera as the premiere sales rep of the year. Rumor has it the early operating system, CP/M, was derived from a common Santa Clara scribble, Call Patti/$100.”